THE HALL OF FAMOUS JOKES
of mine named Larry once told me, around the time of Bill Clinton's
2nd inauguration, "You know, President Clinton and I are buddies."
I said, "Sure you are."
He said, "No, really! Just turn
on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me."
Sure enough, I turned on the TV that
night, and there was Larry, talking to President Clinton with his
arm around the guy.
Not long after, I was
talking to Larry about how much I admired Johnny Depp as an actor.
Larry said, "Oh, he's a good friend."
I said, "Noooo!"
Larry said, "Let's hop in my car".
He drove me to the bar Johnny Depp owns, and as we sipped drinks,
Johnny happened to walk by, immediately exclaimed "Larry!"
and fell into Larry's arms.
This was getting spooky.
Larry seemed to know everyone! I tested Larry with a few more people.
We were back in the Bay Area. Larry was telling me he was buddy-buddy
with Jerry Brown. We went to a Press Conference at Oakland City Hall,
and just before Brown started answering questions, he said "I
see my friend Larry out there."
Same kind of thing happened
when we went to Bob Dylan's house and rang the bell. Bob answered
the door, said "Larry!" gave my friend a big hug, and invited
us in for drinks.
I was becoming a believer,
but then one day we were having another conversation and Larry said
something about "my friend the Pope."
I said, "You can't know
Larry said, "Wanna bet?"
Larry happens to be very well off, so
he flew the both of us to Rome. We took a cab to St. Peters Square.
We were standing in the big crowd below the balcony of the Pope's
apartment. Larry said, "Excuse me for a little while" and
disappeared into the crowd.
A little while after that, John Paul
appeared on the balcony and started blessing people. And who should
be up there beside him but...you guessed it!
I was utterly amazed! I nudged a fellow
standing next to me, pointed to the balcony, and said, "Look!"
The guy shaded his eyes with his palm,
peered up at the balcony, turned back to me, and said, "Who's
that guy up there with Larry?"
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