4

LAPLAND 
by Max Reif 

 

       The man looked almost like a little boy wearing a pretend beard. He motioned for Mr. Nugent to sit in a chair.
      "We don't make it easy to get here!" said the Commissioner of Laps in a very high-pitched voice. "Do you know why?"
      "Hmmmm," said Mr. Nugent, drawing a blank. "No, I don't."
      "Because laps are special!" answered the Commissioner. "For example, do you know where they go when you stand up?"
      "Come to think of it, no," replied Mr. Nugent."
      "Well!" said the Commissioner, smiling as though that explained everything. "These mysterious places on us, so mysterious that we can't even find them when we stand up—are given to us for the sake of our dear little friends—so they can nestle in with us bigger folk, and feel safe! Laps are our nests, you know."
      "Now what is it that brings you to the Palace of Laps?" the Commissioner continued. "Your business must be very important. You've come such a long way."
      "I'm a teacher of small children," explained Mr. Nugent, " When I start reading them a story, one or two children ask right away if they may sit on my lap. I hoist them up, and then my lap is all full. But by that time, all the children want to sit there. The ones who can't fit, feel very unhappy. Because of that I almost feel I make more people unhappy than happy with my stories!" Mr. Nugent frowned.
      "Yes," said the Commissioner, looking down at Mr. Nugent's lap. "I can see you have the standard two-seater."
      "Well," said Mr. Nugent, "Is it possible to apply for a bigger model?" The Commissioner smiled patiently and sighed.
      "Mr. Nugent", he finally said, "A lap is not just a part of the body. A lap is also a state of mind! If you expected to come to Lapland and simply find a catalogue marked Bigger Models, I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you."
      Mr. Nugent's heart sank.
      "But… " the Commissioner went on, his eyes twinkling. " If you give the children all your love and attention, they will already feel as cozy as if they were nestling in your lap!"
      "That's just what I do try to do!" said Mr. Nugent.
      "And then," continued the Commissioner as though Mr. Nugent had never spoken. "Then, if you think to yourself over and over, 'My lap can hold the whole world, my lap can hold the whole world…"
      The old man was whispering now, as though he was sharing a great secret. He drew his face very close to Mr. Nugent's.
      "Then you may be surprised what can happen!" The Commissioner was speaking so softly that Mr. Nugent could scarcely hear him, even though his face was only an inch away. Mr. Nugent felt puzzled, but he also felt he had indeed been let in on a secret.
      "Thank you, Mr. Commissioner," he said simply.
      "You, sir, are one of those rare laps which may contain more than meets the eye," replied the little man with a wink. "That is why I share this with you. Now I have much to do, so you'd best be on your way." In an instant, his head was buried in a thick stack of papers.
     All the way home in his airplane seat, Mr. Nugent kept looking down at his lap. It still looked like a two-seater. Had he gone all the way to Lapland for a mouthful of mumbo-jumbo?

"Lapland", © 2005 by Max Reif